[ad_1]
If your director remains negative, you should absolutely contact the general manager. In general, I do not recommend betraying, but this is not a small thing in the workplace. And if you tackle this, you won’t throw your director under the bus. This is a very real problem that deserves a serious response. If she doesn’t take on that responsibility, she will have to deal with the consequences if you find yourself in the unfortunate position of having to go around her. That said, you may be able to contact the general manager and advocate for diversity training without referring to your racist coworker or the director. I doubt this is a situation that diversity training will improve, but you never know.
Desperate for confirmation
My job is objectively interesting and the kind that many people would like to have (think Hollywood or NASA). I get interesting work and a reasonable amount of time and resources to do it. And yet I can’t motivate myself. My boss simply never, ever gives positive feedback. This seems to be fine for most of my colleagues, but I really thrive on positive feedback and always have. I’ve tried asking for feedback, but my boss thinks this means I’m asking for ways to improve my performance. It is possible that there is nothing worth praising me for; after all, my boss was right about all the things she pointed out the last time I asked her for feedback. But I have to believe that there are some things I’m doing right; Otherwise I wouldn’t still have this job, right? Is there a way to ask for some positive reinforcement without sounding like a drip? If not, how can I change my mindset and view my salary as a compliment?
– Anonymous, New York
It’s good that you understand how to thrive. Most people benefit from positive feedback and other forms of affirmation, so you’re not a loser if that’s what you’re looking for. Your salary is not a compliment. It is compensation for labor. If you need to take it as positive feedback, then you can certainly do that, but there’s no reason why you can’t ask your boss for positive feedback in addition to the constructive feedback she provides. If you still have your job, there are certainly things you do well, and ideally you work with someone who will tell you that sometimes. If your boss doesn’t understand your request for feedback, it’s time to be more direct and specific about the feedback you’d like and aren’t getting. By doing this you are not being needy; you’re just human and asking for something that will keep you performing well.
Pension announcement
I am retiring and wondering how much notice I should give my employer. In a perfect world, I would have given the company a year’s notice to find and train my replacement. I am the only person in my department and provide all support, training and advice about our product to customers. In addition, several employees trust me because of my industry and product expertise. I’m the only one doing my job because my teammates got fired. In recent months, all vacancies, if any, have been filled abroad. My family and friends tell me to give a minimum notice period, ranging from two weeks to three months. The problem with a lot of notice periods is that I don’t trust my company to let me go before my retirement date, and for several reasons that wouldn’t be good for me. I would like to give my employer six months, but I’m afraid this could have a counterproductive effect. As you can guess, I don’t have a long-term or open relationship with any of my managers.
– Anonymously
If you work in a great professional environment and can trust that you will be treated well, you naturally want to give as much notice as possible, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. You are not legally obliged to give up your pension. If you’re concerned that your company will let you go before your retirement date, at least give notice and protect your income for as long as possible. The reality is that you owe your employer nothing more than to do a good job in exchange for fair compensation. And if there’s a chance your company will fire you before you retire, but after you give notice, your employer doesn’t deserve months of warning. The company will survive without you, even if the transition is difficult. Being the only person to provide support for your product is your employer’s failure and not your responsibility when you leave the company. I hope that when the time comes, you can enjoy your well-deserved retirement.
Not interested in covering for a colleague
In August, I took a two-week vacation and asked one of my coworkers to cover my work while I was away. He agreed, but when I came back I heard he was doing the bare minimum – and poorly. Moreover, he did nothing for the last four or five days of my vacation, assuming that I would be back soon and catch up. I have received several complaints from senior colleagues and customers. Flash-forward to November, and he’s going out of town for three weeks and wants me to fill in for him. The expectation is that we will cover for each other, but I don’t feel like I owe him anything based on his performance when he covered for me. I didn’t confront him about his work at the time, and I’m nervous about doing so now.
– Anonymously
It would indeed be difficult to confront your colleague months later with his poor performance. The time to share that feedback was when you first heard how he handled your responsibilities. But that’s water under the bridge. You are entitled to your frustration and you do not owe your colleague anything. Nevertheless, if you are expected to support your colleagues and vice versa, you should vouch for him and carry out those responsibilities as you would yourself. Don’t create unnecessary friction that reflects poorly on you, rather than him, because your coworkers don’t know the whole story.
The next time he fills in for you, take note of where he fell short the first time and articulate your expectations. That doesn’t guarantee he’ll acquit himself properly, but it will hopefully help you get over this.
Roxane Gay is most recently the author of “Opinions: A Decade of Arguments, Criticism, and Minding Other People’s Business” and a contributing opinion writer. Write her at workfriend@nytimes.com.
